It sucks.
But I learnt a few things.
This isn’t trying to be a ‘got rejected but now I made it’ article, rather a completely honest post. I’ll tell you because no one ever shares their rejection. Here you go.
When I was a teenage I had this urge to study art but I kind of knew I wasn’t good enough, in my mind my ideas were great but when I put them onto canvas my hand or my patience lacked training or natural skill. It wasn’t a huge surprise I got rejected by all five universities I applied to study Fine Art, all saying sympathetically I should do a foundation degree. I thought, fuckit there isn’t any money in art anyway, I didn’t want to do it that much anyway, probably would have been shit anyway….
So I kinda of gave up the art dream. For about 3 – 4 years during Uni I might have done one lousy drawing… I mean I did no art!! Its crazy to think about now, it was like I was in an art depression. Also, I did get pretty caught up in the London life and thinking that was my place and my route too, I thought after uni I would need to get a corporate job, make money, save money, spend money….. but in the bottom of it all I just wanted to make art.
I now get flashbacks to my Dad asking me the other day how different my life might be if I had been accepted into (at least one) art university degree.
I daydream to this day of being one of the cool kids at Central Saint Martins, wearing vintage clothes with green hair, I can imagine myself smoking a cigarette and talking about how stressed I am about completing all the coursework in time. I would have have been great, successful, molded.
After moving to Barcelona about five years ago after graduating Uni (where I studied something non art related), I got back into painting after about a year of living here (I will dedicate another post to why and how I got back into art) and since starting to paint again have even exhibited a few times, done some live painting shows for events, sold some work, been asked to paint murals for bars and restaurants, and was even contacted to host painting classes. So a few months ago I was thinking about my next future goals and steps and I had an idea…. ‘ maybe I can learn some more and be better, I’ll try really hard to get into an art university again’.
So I applied to Fine Art and Painting masters courses across Europe, scouting universities where I could study for free or for cheap, applying to scholarship programs and things like that, even applying to Iceland, Sweden, Denmark, Norway, and guess what, again I got rejected from all of them. Not even the Nords want me!
I applied to a masters at the Royal College of Art, which according to an artist I met the other day in the studio was over selecting people and becoming shit…. when she said this I felt hopeful as my portfolio was in the mail at the time heading their direction, but no luck, yet again I got rejected. Ouch! That one did hurt.
‘Now what’ I think?
Should I stop painting because I’m not good enough to even study art? But I’ve sold paintings and exhibited work…. This is so confusing. My art esteem is all over the place.
I kept these rejections silent until now, however I do hate that you are reading this right now and think shit she really got rejected from every single uni… wow, that so bad! But that’s the truth and I want to be as honest as possible. So its sucks to say but well it is what is it.
I also think why be embarrassed, rejection is rejection, but it doesn’t mean failure.
Failure for me would be not to try, to not do. The more I do, then the more I will improve. I want to keep learning, keep improving and keep making better more meaningful art. I will take rejection, that’s cool, and I’ll keep going. Adsorb it and grow, like a kick-ass sea sponge!
But, back to the question, now what? Now what?
What have I learnt?
I might not be an academic artist but that is cool too! Since being in Barcelona I have met loads of successful street artists who especially prove to me you don’t need a formal education to create meaningful work. Check out one of my favorites Art is Trash. He’s exhibited all over the world, has books on his work, has been sponsored by brands like converse to paint, is signed to art galleries, and overall I would say he is a really really successful and established artist.
He used to wait tables and work in construction until only a few years ago, I’m calculating his probably late 30s, into 40s.
By the way check out that portrait of me by him, so cool!
Well, to wrap up what I took from all this Art Uni Rejection was that success and failure is all relative, do what makes you happy, keep trying, and don’t take anything personally! I hope this was somewhat helpful, hopeful or inspiring!
My advice
Keep going, keep studying by yourself, keep practicing, keep creating….
Thanks for reading!
P.S … Central Saint Martin please give me a chance!